Part 6 – From Spirit to Matter

Divine • Light • Mandalas  – Cosmic Consciousness Through the Chakras

Portals of Ascension

Seven years after my near-death-experience (NDE) I moved from Colorado to California to study more deeply with the spiritual teachers I had met through Mystery School. Seeking that Divine connection, that feeling of oneness, I continued my training in world wisdom traditions, spiritual psychology, Reiki crystal healing, and our Chakra system, becoming a skilled healer.

As often happens with near-death-experiencers (NDERs), in spite of the fact that I had a spiritual community, I didn’t feel like I truly belonged. Solitary, contemplative time exploring with my camera was my preferred way to ground into a sense of belonging with myself and my environment. To avoid increasing isolation, I sought connection with other photographers. During a short-lived stint with a photo club, I met someone who, like me, found photography both grounding and uplifting, and a way to create a deeper connection with self and others.

She also loved to photograph holiday lights, so we played with what I call “Camera Dancing™” ––moving the camera liberally, while using a slow shutter speed. It was so much fun! When I looked at the original images in photoshop, I thought kaleidoscope!  I mirrored each photo once, then twice. Amazing portals appeared! Spirit took over the process and the images came to life. I experimented meditating with them and found that I could unblock and re-energize stuck energy in my chakras, from root to crown. This collection has become one of my many creative, sacred, healing art tools I share with others.

Movement and mirror imaging come together to create Divine • Light • Mandalas

See slide show HERE

 

Transformative art must express something beyond where you are, it demands that you grow beyond your current self. This is where an artist’s angst and the pain of transformation coincide. You reach toward the true, the good and the beautiful and become a better person through the struggle.
—Alex Grey, artist

Part 5 – From Spirit to Matter

Seeking Wholeness  – Divine Reflections in Nature

PHOTOGRAPHY AS A SPIRITUAL/HEALING PRACTICE POST NDE

The surgery, during which I had my near-death-experience (NDE), saved my life by gutting me from stem to stern, leaving me with an everlasting Buddha belly, a scar that I once considered having a tattoo created around, and my belly button off center. Processing and integrating my surgery and NDE involved recalibrating my negative body image, now distorted more than ever. The thought of being naked and vulnerable with anyone was terrifying. I needed to reclaim my divine feminine wholeness on all levels; emotional, spiritual, and physical. Communing with the beauty of nature allowed me to befriend my broken bits, and begin to put myself back together.

Vest Unveiled – Mantra: Home is where my heart takes a stand.

 

Vesta Unveiled was my first mirror image­­––sensuous, fiery, revealing. Lilith Lingering and Pele’s Hula came to me during my first trip to Hawaii. Their movement reflects the power and grace I sought to regain, as my NDE’s life review had opened old wounds and shredded my self-confidence. The perfect symmetry of the mirror images metaphorically expressed my desire to feel whole again.

Their goddess names and mantras arose through deep listening, feeling, and meditating with each image, asking them, “what do you have to teach me about my Self, my true nature?” I would then free-write; words of compassion, forgiveness and self-love tumbling onto the page. These images have become healing allies and friends, teaching me and others each time they are shared. I’ve been lead to create over thirty Divine Reflections in Nature, and am constantly in awe of the beauty revealed whenever and where ever we take the time to be truly present, and to see with our hearts.

Goddesses: Vesta is the Roman virgin goddess of hearth and home.  Lilith in Jewish legend is the first wife of Adam. Pele is the Hawaiian goddess of fire. 

Part 2 – From Spirit to Matter

LEARNING HOW TO SEE – Zen Contemplative Photography

Photography as a Spiritual/Healing Practice Post NDE

Only six weeks after I emerged from my month in the hospital and just a few weeks out of bed recovering at home, I immersed myself in a photo workshop, “learning how to see” with Zen Buddhist Abbot and master photographer, John Daido Loori, Roshi.  I was healing from surgery and almost dying, and to those who viewed my images, my wounds were revealed without ever telling them my story.  Our assignment was to take a photograph that expressed the feeling of, “making love with light.”  At the time I was feeling deep gratitude for being alive and love for my brother who was at the hospital every one of the 25 days I was there.  This was my photograph.

As we were guided through the meditation to look more deeply into, around and through our photographs, to feel them kinesthetically and emotionally, my dyad partner for this exercise said she saw blood cells pumping through a vein. Physically she said she felt cold, and emotionally she felt sad but full of wonder. I had not told her that I almost died six weeks earlier and had surgery to save my life.

That weekend workshop revealed clearly for me that our inner landscape and outer world reflect one another and that photography was a healing modality. A small group of us practiced together meditating with our photographs for a few years after that workshop, unearthing and sharing deeper meaning, deeper stories, and healing for ourselves through our images. I continue this healing photography practice today, and love sharing it with others.

Love, like a glass urn born of molten heat, fragile and transparent… yet capable of holding tears of joy and tears of sorrow.  (poem that I wrote to go with the photo)

“The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera.”  Photographer Dorothea Lange

Part 1 – May 3rd is My ReBirth Day!!!

This year is the 14th anniversary of my Near-Death-Experience (NDE), an event that profoundly changed my life on every level. Recently I’ve been contemplating those changes–– the after-effects of leaving a life behind, a fascination with death, years of seeking, of psycho-spiritual healing, and the circuitous path to here and now. All of this unfolding and replaying as I work on my memoir of my lived experience.

Companioning me through these years has been a deep desire to “see” completely/holistically, and to share with others. Whether this quest for Divine Sight comes from deep in my psyche or guided by Spirit, I do not know. But contemplative photography has emerged as my spiritual and healing practice, often times reflecting my attempts to integrate the after-effects of my NDE with my daily life and offering ever deeper contemplation.

The very first images came to me two months after my NDE, as I woke and sat on the edge of my bed. The early morning dappled light danced on the closet door as it filtered through tree leaves. As the sunlight grew stronger, my shadow came alive, solidifying from ethereal into real. I remember being ridiculously gleeful at the reassurance that simple play of light and shadow gave me. I was still here! I pinched myself…

“The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera.”  Photographer Dorothea Lange

to be continued…

Van Gogh Meets Monet

When I had my near-death-experience (May 3, 2005) the final message I received was my own personal Koan – “Painting, painting, painting, I just want to paint flowers!” Over the years I’ve pondered what the deeper meaning of this might be, and when I shared it with other NDERs at the recent IANDS conference someone just had to ask, “So have you painted flowers?” Ummmm, well…no. But finding this photo filter sure has been fun!
Van Gogh Meets Monet

click on any image to scroll through the gallery

A Day at the SF Asian Art Museum

I made my first visit to the SF Asian Art Museum and it did not disappoint. The temporary exhibit, “Divine Bodies” runs through July 29. It asks us to consider how the Divine resides within us. There are also thought provoking pieces on impermanence and a collection of paintings illustrating the story of a near death experience. Now that’s my idea of a lively Spirit-filled day!!

Click on an image to scroll through the gallery